1. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants!
2. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
3. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.D
4. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
5. A duck's quack doesn't echo ... no one knows why.
6. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle".
7. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself .
8. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
9. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!
10. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

.There was a redhead, a brunette, and a blond who were all astronauts.
The redhead told the others that she was one of the people first to orbit Earth.
The brunette told the others that she was one of the first people to set foot on the moon.
The blond said,"That's nothing, we're going to be the first people on the sun."
The other two look at the blond. The redhead pipped up,"You can't go on the sun. Get anywhere close to it and you'll burn up. And IF you could get on the sun, you'd melt."
The blond replied," Not if we go at night."D

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..Why does it get dark when the sun goes down? kk

1) .Q. What kind of ticks do you find on the moon?
.Ans. Luna-ticks!

2) .Q. What kind of bulbs should you plant on the moon?
.Ans. Light bulbs! (relate with gravity)

3) .Q. What is an astronaut's favorite meal?
.Ans. Launch! (pronunciation sound)D

4) .Q. What kinds of songs do planets like to sing?
.Ans. Nep-tunes!

5) .Q. What kind of poem can you find in outer space?
.Ans. .Uni-verse!

6) .Q. What did the astronaut cook for lunch?
.Ans. An unidentified frying object! (UFO)

7) .Q. How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space?
.Ans. On flying saucers!

8) .Q. Why is it that Capt. Kirk never tells Marsian jokes at a party.
.Ans. There may be some at the party.

1) .Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the computer? He was looking for the space bar!D

2) .Paddy the Earthling: We put a man on the moon in 1969.
.Paddy the Martian: Big deal! We're going to send a team to the Sun.
.Paddy the Earthling: You're mad! They'll be burned up before they even get close.
.Paddy the Martian: We're not that stupid! We're sending them up at night!

3) .Q: Did you ever taste the sun?
.A: No, but I've heard it's outta this world!

4) .Cool Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night.
.His Friend: Was it any good?
.Cool Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring.
.His Friend: How come?
.Cool Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere.

5) .Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit!

6) .What do moon people do when they get married? They go off on their honeyearth!

7) .The Jupiter Beauty Contest Authorities have launched a bitter attack on their Earth counterparts. In a strongly-worded press release, they have pointed out that in the last 37 years every single winner of the Miss Universe competition has been an Earth woman !!

8) .Those 2 young Martians were back on Earth again last week. They were cruising through Manister when they suddenly got the urge to try some Earth food. They had no local currency so they decided to steal some Mars Bars from the local shop. They slipped into the shop, while the shopkeeper wasn't looking and slipped out again unnoticed. "Stop! You never paid for those!" shouted the shopkeeper. The Martians dropped the bars and ran. They hopped on their bike, and zoomed back to the mothership. Their mother was furious with them: "You should be ashamed of yourselves. You couldn't even take a few Mars Bars from an Earthshop without getting caught. What happened?" "I don't know how the shopkeeper saw us" said one of the young Martians "She must have eyes in the front of her head !"

.If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions...

Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

Bring cheerleaders.

Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level.

On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

Bring pets.

Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else.

Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out

interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..).

Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink).

Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you start to hold your mouth and make "I'm about to bring something up" sounds.).

Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.

Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out, too) and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

One word: Wrestlemania.

Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why My Professor Sucks".
:P kiki