.NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were all ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them into space. As the moment came closer NASA's mission control center announced, " This is mission control to Monkey One. Do your stuff. "
At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle's engines ignited and the shuttle took off. Two hours later NASA's mission control center announced,"This is mission control to Monkey Two. Do your stuff."
At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle seperated from the empty fuel tanks. Another two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, "This is mission control to the astronaut..."
At this the Astronaut shouted: " I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don't touch anything."
:b Hugs,kiki

.BABY ASTRONAUT :
-How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
-You rock-et.

.-What's in an astronaut's FAVORITE sandwich?
-Launch meat.

.-What was the astronaut doing on the computer?
-Looking for the space bar.
kk

.A building contracter hires an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Chinaman. He gathers them all in his office and tells each of them their jobs.

The Englishman to shovel a pile of sand.
The Irishman has to take the sand in the wheelbarrow to the truck.
The Chinaman is in charge of supplies.

The boss comes back two hours later and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea. ''So have you done the work then?'' he asks.

The workers both shake their heads and tell him that the Chinaman didn't give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow.

The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinaman, they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck.

So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck the Chinaman jumps out from behind a wall and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
kk

.Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English.

NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each.
-The American decided to take along his wife,
-the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German whilst
-the Russian decided to take along cigarettes.

Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.

First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms.
Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German.
They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause.

Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked "Has anyone got a friggin' match?"
hugs,kk