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Archives for: April 2006, 17

Knock Knock

by kiki2u @ 2006-04-17 - 18:14:55

Knock Knock!
whos there?
someone!
someone who?
Knock Knock!
whos there?
its elvis!
elvis who?
Knock Knock!
whos there?
bill clinton!
bill clinton who?
Knock Knock!
whos there?
britney spears!
britney spears who?
Knock Knock!
whos there?
justin timberlake!
justin timberlake who?
Knock Knock!
whos there?
Your momma!
my momma who?
ok so theres a posibility you didnt now who elvis,Mr.cliton,britneyspears&justin timberly was BUT YOU DONT NOW WHO YA MOMMA IS!

:-/ :>> :> :oops: :lalala: :)) )-o :))


 
 

"The leopard, dog and monkey"

by kiki2u @ 2006-04-17 - 06:16:59

.A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
-The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep doo doo now."
Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
-Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
-Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
-The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
-Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?"
But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet.
-And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!" :>>

Bilingual Lawyer

by kiki2u @ 2006-04-17 - 01:07:03

.A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina.
-"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
-The lawyer answered, "He said 'Get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot me.'" :> :)) ;) :idea: :P

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