A Dog and a Cat fighting for food hahahaha this cat is mad!! The dog always manage to...or not? Watch yourself and say, because they are very funny, wow, cats when they want are really badD, even if fat ones :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYz1PesSuho&search=cats%20fighting%20dogs

Funny??
Wow, who have dogs and cats at same time at home must know... i wouldn't have for sure hahahahaha
Hugs, Kk

Here we can learn how to play Football, and with some dancing steps too...at same time! Some are just amazing and really funny, just try it and have fun:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty23FClRXkw&search=Football%20Skills

You managed it? well i tried too and had fun
Hugs,Kk

1.Oranges:
There's this wonderful story about the first meeting between Kalu Rinpoche and Zen master Seung Sahn:
The two monks entered with swirling robes - maroon and yellow for the Tibetan, austere gray and black for the Korean - and were followed by retinues of younger monks and translators with shaven heads ...
The Tibetan lama sat very still, fingering a wooden rosary (mala) with one hand while murmuring, 'Om mani padme hung,' continuously under his breath. The Zen master, who was already gaining renown for his method of hurling questions at his students until they were forced to admit their ignorance and then bellowing, 'Keep that don't know mind!' at them, reached deep inside his robes and drew out an orange. 'What is this?' he demanded of the lama. 'What is this?'
This was a typical opening question, and we could feel him ready to pounce on whatever response he was given.
The Tibetan sat quietly fingering his mala and made no move to respond.
'What is this?' the Zen master insisted, holding the orange up to the Tibetan's nose.
Kalu Rinpoche bent very slowly to the Tibetan monk next to him who was serving as the translator, and they whispered back and forth for several minutes. Finally the translator addressed the room: 'Rinpoche says, What is the matter with him? Don't they have oranges where he comes from?'
:P

2.Crossing the river:
Prince Gautama who had become Buddha saw one of his followers meditating under a tree at the edge of the Ganges river. Upon inquiring why he was meditating, his follower stated he was attempting to become so enlightened he could cross the river unaided. Buddha gave him a few pennies and said: "Why don't you seek passage with that boatman. It is much easier."

1.Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.
- Cincinnati Enquirer

2.The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
- Bill Watterson

3.Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy.
- Anonymous drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

4.Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

5.Usually, terrible things that are done with that excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
- Russell Baker

6.There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
- Douglas Adams

Kk

Little Help Please!!!

.Good Morning
Here in lisbon/Lisboa we've had been under very high temperatures, as 40+degrees, is not usual at this season! It's usual by July or August, not now!
Anyway it's great if we can go to the beach
Lots of people as are working and not in holidays are feeling bad, as me, and also pets; also fires are already starting , and during the night is such hot that even with windows open we, well i didn't manage sleep all night. I'm awake since around 3h.30h.am! so i decided to work on my laptop and also to come here to blogland, to mine and to blogfriends but i'm mad! Really, because don't know if it is because the heat around here affecting internet or is the cyberspace or whatever i don't manage be on blogland!
Whenever i try comment on a blogfriend well: i go because this is sooooooooooooooooooo SLOW!
Well, better laugh indeed, so i need a joke:

".The Birds, The Bees, The Bushettes"
Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble with the law for underage drinking, the President has lectured them constantly about the evils of alcohol. His daughters were tired of having the same conversation week after week, so they finally said, "Okay daddy, we understand about drinking already, but you've never talked about to us about sex."

Getting very upset, W. chided the twins: "Young ladies, we do not use that dirty four-letter word in our home!"

- Have a nice day,
KK

.9/11/2001 by Night:

.9/11/2001 by early morning:

- On this day USA had been attacked in various sites by terrorists; later on, also: London and Madrid with bombs on public transports. And others countries till today had been under terrorists attacks.
I watched news today, as i don't use to watch TV, and i ask:
.Is this all forgotten?
.Is still any common sense in the world?
.Humankind will be destroyed by itself or by Nature?
Because seems to me that: terrorism, bombs, money, whatever, are being more in the news than good things...everyday are attacks, etc... and also the Planet Earth seems angry with all us, showing to the Humankind the Power of Nature.
Well, i'm just wondering...as our wourld is so beautiful and seems we are all going into the wrong and bad direction!
Isn't it time to change it? At least i think it's time to learn with what ALL History already teached us...but unfortunatly seems not.
Hugs,Kk

1.I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein

2.Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than from the arguments of its opposers.
- Admiral William Penn

3.I dream for a living.
- Steven Spielberg

4.The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
- David Friedman

5.In peace, sons bury their fathers. In war, fathers bury their sons.
- Herodotus

6.Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
- Benny Hill

1." To live we must conquer incessantly, we must have the courage to be happy."
- Henri Frederic Amiel

2." Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow."
- Aristotle

1.Reincarnation
There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation.
They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death.
Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.
At the seance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?"
A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you."
Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?"
"It's beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time."
"What do you do all day?" asked Martha.
"Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m."
Martha was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?"
"Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Martha."
"Well, then, where are you?"
"I don't know, but I'm a rabbit."

2.Vow of Silence
An aspiring monk wanted to find a Guru. He went to an monastery and his preceptor told him: "You can stay here but we have one important rule - all students observe the vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak to me once every 12 years".
After practicing silence and meditation for 12 long years, finally the student could say his one thing, and : "The bed is too hard."
After another 12 years of hard silent meditation, he had the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."
Twelve more years of hard work passed. His words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."
His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing is complaining."

." When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through repetition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.

Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that Bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.

"The founder of our sect," boasted the priest, "had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?"

Bankei replied lightly: "Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink." "

:P KK

...the Power of Nature:

1.How many Madhayamka scholars does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four:
One to scew it in.
One to not screw it in.
One to both screw it in and not screw it in.
One too neither screw it in nor not screw it in.

2.How many Gelugpas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three:
2 to have a debate about the nature of light and 1 to twist the bulb

3.How many Sakyapas?
Two:
1 to write the instructions and the auto-commentary, 1 to twist the bulb

4.How many Kagyupas?
One:
But he has to spend years and years sealed in a cave first.

5.How many Nyingmapas?
One:
But he has to dig up the instructions to find out the bulb is already in.

6.How many Bonpos?
One:
But their bulbs screw in the other direction.

- Well, mostly, as i don't know tibetan language, i laughed about their names and some similar words in portuguese with others meanningsD But are great indeed as the jokes bellow

1.The Pope, Sai Baba and Karmapa:
It was a beautiful day along the coast, quiet, sunny and warm. The Pope, Sai Baba and Karmapa had decided to take a day off from their various opinions and duties, rented a boat, and went fishing.
A couple hours pass, at the expense of several ocean-creatures. Then Sai Baba spots a McDonalds at the beach. "Hey, I'm dead hungry. I'm off for a Big Mac". He jumps from the boat and quickly steps across the water. Karmapa goes: "Great, I'm in." Jumps from the boat, runs across the water to land, where Sai Baba is already ordering.
The Pope stands a little behind, having never walked on water. But if those two non-Christians can do that, it should be no problem for him. He jumps the boat, goes "plop", and disappears.
Sai Baba and Karmapa, enjoying their freshly materialized burgers, watch the scene. Karmapa: "That didn't look good." Sai Baba: "No, we really should have told him about those underwater stepping poles."
Karmapa: "Stepping poles??"

2.Smart
A pilot is flying three people in a private plane - a Tibetan lama, and Bill Gates (the smartest man in the world), and a hippie.
Suddenly the pilot announces to his three passengers: "I have bad news for you. The plane is going to crash. We have to bail out now.
Unfortunately, we have only three parachutes. And since I am a terrific pilot, and I don't see any reason why I should die, I am
taking one of them. Good luck!" And with that, he jumped out of the plane.
Bill Gates said: "Since I am the smartest man in the world, and very valuable to civilization, I am also going to take a parachute and save myself." And with that, he leapt out of the plane.
The lama said to the hippie: "I have already lived a long and fruitful life and have no need to live longer. Therefore, you may take the remaining parachute." "Relax, mannnn," said the hippie, putting the parachute on to the lama's back. "The smartest man in the
world just strapped himself into my backpack." :P

- have a nice weekend, hugs kk

1.Flapping flag:
Four monks were meditating in a monastery. All of a sudden the prayer flag on the roof started flapping.
The younger monk came out of his meditation and said: "Flag is flapping"
A more experienced monk said: "Wind is flapping"
A third monk who had been there for more than 20 years said: "Mind is flapping."
The fourth monk who was the eldest said: "Mouths are flapping!"

2.Thanks:
A paratrooper was scared to jump.
His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, say, `Buddha oh Buddha' and you will be saved."
The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out of the sky and saved him.
He said, "Thank God," and he was dropped.

3.Master and Pupil:
Says the Master to his pupil: "Do you understand that you don't really exist?"
Upon which the pupil replies: "Whom are you telling that?"

- Buddhists also have laughs
Kk

1."I have a mind like a steel trap. Stuff gets in there and WHAM! it never gets back out again."
Bill Austin

2."If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
Yogi Berra

3."The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
Rita Mae Brown

4."My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy.
I told him, 'If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion.'
He said, 'Alright.... you're ugly too!'"
Rodney Dangerfield

5."The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain."
Ronald Firbank

6."Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."
Redd Foxx

7."The less we know, the longer the explanation."
B.G.

8."What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"
Ursula K. LeGuin

9."Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
Carl Gustav Jung

10."The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit."
Dwight Morrow

11."If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."
Ogden Nash

12."I only drink to make other people seem interesting."
George Jean Nathan

13."Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
John Peers

14."The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order."
Brian Pickrell

Some WISE huh ? Others well, you tell me!
KK

- What a funny attitude this cat had to that dog! and the dog'd aloud it
Seems to me the relationship between a certain cat called BOO and a certain dog called Ross
It's amazing! And i always thought they were all the time fighting... seems not!
Kk

1.A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

2.Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

3.The web-site you seek
Cannot be located,
but Countless more exist.

4.Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen, mind, both are blank....

5.You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

6.Program aborting:
Close all you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

7.Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

- HAHAHA a Zen Computer!! This gave me lots of laughs now while wak'g up early and try'g to drink my coffee; enjoy it as much as i did or just for a smile because are great ones, these jokes, Kk
PS: indeed i use to scream when all goes away or crash! HAHAHAHA

1.Q: How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist?
A: A man who is at two with the universe

2.A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you."
So I didn't.

3.Q: How much "ego" do you need?
A: Just enough so that you don't step in front of a bus.

- KK

."Affirmations for living.

- Affirmation techniques -
Make them short and sweet
Always positively worded
Stay in the present tense
Say them twice to let them sink in:

"Everyday in every way I am getting better and better.
I feel stronger with every moment that passes.
There is no limit to how good I can feel.
I look well, I feel well, I am well.
The doctors are amazed at my progress.
This treatment is totally successful and feels comfortable.
Everything is healed as it should.
When I wake up I will feel totally refreshed, energised and well.
my body is itself healing itself completely.
I am in full remission.
I love myself.
I am loved.
My cells form perfectly.
I love my body.
I am loving and forgiving.
Life is a miracle. My cells are miracles.
I am calm and peaceful." "

- From a yoga teacher:
“Remember that the sky is always blue wherever you are. It’s only the clouds that get in the way sometimes”."

.One who particularly inspires me: is Lance Armstrong. Who was diagnosed with cancer and had a poor prognosis, yet here he'd win the Tour de France cycle race so many times! He has published a couple of books. I have only read one. He has so much determination in the face of such great odds both in his career and his health. I am very impressed with the way he has worked to help others with cancer by setting up the Lance Armstrong Foundation in the USA.
Kk

- SEE? as my Elvis Zen is while he sleeps! Very tired as he had been playing football as a goal-keeperor biting guys feet to have the ball just for himD! TRUE!
And when sleeps, he doesn't bother with nothing; also must be on his own sofa ! Is not like that KatZen i posted bellow ! He really sleeps, no meditations! no yoga-dogas LOL
Kk

."Tosui was the Zen master who left the formalism of temples to live under a bridge with beggars. When he was getting very old, a friend helped him to earn his living without begging. He showed Tosui how to collect rice and manufacture vinegar from it, and Tosui did this until he passed away.

While Tosui was maki