1.Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

2.When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

3.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

4.Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

5.The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

6.If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

7.If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

8.A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

9.Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

10.On the other hand, you have different fingers.

-Author: Steven Wrigth

. Trash Art

Yes, there's also this kind of Art, the Trash-Art, and can be very funny if well photographed!

1.That night, we went skin dipping- Just the two of us!
You mean you went skinny dipping?
It is called skinny dipping? But I'm not very skinny!
Well, that's what they call it if you go swimming nude.
What is "Nude?"
Nude means Naked. No clothes or swimsuits.
Naked? No! I would never skin dip naked! There are little slippery fish everywhere! We skinned dipped with our underwear over us.

2.Do you like your coffee cremated?

3.Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try one?
No thanks. I'm not so hungry
right now.

4.My leg has been breaking for three weeks.

5.It is dangerous to smoke while
you are becoming pregnant.

6.I probably should have gone to the doctor
one ear ago.

7.I want my face to have
the buttocks treatment.
The what?
The buttocks treatment. It makes your
wrinkles go away. It's very famous
in Hollywood.
Oh. It's pronounced "bo tox".
That's it. The buttocks treatment.
Maybe you need it too a little.

kk

1.Babe Speak!!
"When I was born I was so surprised I couldn't talk for a year and a half."

2.How True ...
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

3."If I could be anything I would be your tear, so I could be born in your eye, live down your cheek, and die on your lips."

4."Know your Limitations and be Content with them. Too much Ambition results in Promotion to a job you can't do!"

5."Do you know the meaning of family?
- F(ather) A(nd) M(other) I L(ove) Y(ou)

.

- 3D Graffiti stairs painted on hallway wall and floor.
Amazing huh?
kk

1."Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most poems rhyme
But this one doesn't."

2."TOLIET CAMERA IS FOR RESEARCH USE ONLY"

3."Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once."

4."Help, the paranoids are after me!"

5.(Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands")
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

6.when I was born, I was so surprised
I couldn't speak for a year and a half!

7.Sign seen at a swimming pool:
Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

8.On an elevator in New York: 
"Elevator out of order."
Scribbled underneath: 
"Try the ones across the street."

9.While I  wait for the perfect woman to come along,
I'm having a lot of fun with the imperfect ones!

10.God must love stupid people...He made so many !

11.just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

 
kk

So funny! They look the same! But one is a real dog

1.Your inner thoughts can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.
2.What you impress upon your mind, you'll inevitably become. It's a psychological law that whatever you desire to accomplish you must first impress upon your subconscious mind.
3.Relentless, repetitive self talk will change your self image. You'll affect your subconscious mind with verbal repetition. Constant repetition carries conviction.
4.When you change your values you'll change your behavior. Start thinking of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. Self suggestion will make you the master of yourself.
5.If you believe you can, you can.
6.You can become whatever you want to be.

- Well, i truly believe especially on nrs. 3, 4 and 5. Others are good ones too. But that about the repetition is so true!
kk

Hahaha, planets are really frolicking around me :
".Aquarius
Date of Birth: February 1
-A group activity in your community could bring you back into contact with some old friends with whom you've been out of touch for a long while, Kiki. Among them there could well be a lover from days past! You'll learn a lot at this event, and not only will you get back in touch with old friends, you'll probably make some new ones! This is a wonderful time for renewed love and affection.
Kiki, treat yourself with a Free Psychic reading. "

LOL, well, i must say that "lover from days past" is nothing new OOH ! I think we all enjoy new events not old ones returning to our lives And, yes i know i'm getting back in touch with old friends because some are colleagues of mine, and we are all meeting again, now we are returning to our jobs
And, they call themselves astrologers I could tell this to me or others!
But they want more! That i should treat myself with a psychic reading LOL D ... i'l think about it, if i don't forget it first
kk

.One beautiful spring day a red rose blossomed in a forest. Many kinds of trees and plants grew there. As the rose looked around, a pine tree nearby said:
-"What a beautiful flower. I wish I was that lovely."
Another tree said,:
-"Dear pine, do not be sad, we can not have everything."
The rose turned its head and remarked:
"It seems that I am the most beautiful plant in this forest."
A sunflower raised its yellow head and asked,:
-"Why do you say that? In this forest there are many beautiful plants. You are just one of them."
The red rose replied,:
-"I see everyone looking at me and admiring me." Then the rose looked at a cactus and said, "Look at that ugly plant full of thorns!"
The pine tree said,:
-"Red rose, what kind of talk is this? Who can say what beauty is? You have thorns too."
The proud red rose looked angrily at the pine and said,:
-"I thought you had good taste! You do not know what beauty is at all. You can not compare my thorns to that of the cactus."
-"What a proud flower", thought the trees.
The rose tried to move its roots away from the cactus, but it could not move. As the days passed, the red rose would look at the cactus and say insulting things, like: "This plant is useless? How sorry I am to be his neighbor."
The cactus never got upset and he even tried to advise the rose, saying,:
-"Nature did not create any form of life without a purpose."
Spring passed, and the weather became very warm. Life became difficult in the forest, as the plants and animals needed water and no rain fell. The red rose began to wilt. One day the rose saw sparrows stick their beaks into the cactus and then fly away, refreshed. This was puzzling, and the red rose asked the pine tree what the birds were doing. The pine tree explained that the birds got water from the cactus.
-"Does it not hurt when they make holes?" asked the rose.
-"Yes, but the cactus does not like to see any birds suffer," replied the pine.
The rose opened its eyes in wonder and said,:
-"The cactus has water?"
-"Yes you can also drink from it. The sparrow can bring water to you if you ask the cactus for help."
The red rose felt too ashamed of its past words and behavior to ask for water from the cactus, but then it finally did ask the cactus for help. The cactus kindly agreed and the birds filled their beaks with water and watered the rose's roots.

*Thus the rose learned a lesson and never judged anyone by their appearance again.

.Author: Unknown

kk

It's true, and i mean with everyone
kk

.Click twice to read it better.
Cheeses!

Why 7?? Seven eggs!   To choose and eat only one... He could ask for 6, 8 or 3... but he wants 7, must tastes better. I wonder too if eggs look different, served like that.  So, if "Le Chef" only serves him 6 he will not eat, i guess. But he's the one who is the Prince, he can always ask for seven.
By the way, Camila only has 2 eggs , how's that?

.There was a country long time ago where the people would change a king every year. The person who would become the king had to agree to a contract that he would be sent to an island after his one year of being a king.
One king finished his term and it was time for him to go to the island and live there. The people dressed him up in expensive clothes and put him on an elephant and took him around the cities to say goodbye to all the people. This was the moment of sadness for all the kings who ruled for one year. After saying farewell, the people took the king with a boat to the remote island and left him there.
On their way back, they discovered a ship that had sunk just recently. They saw a young man who survived by holding on to a floating piece of wood. As they needed a new king, they picked up the young man and took him to their country. They requested him to be a king for a year. First he refused but later he agreed to be a king. People told him about all the rules and regulations and that how he will be sent to an island after one year.
After three days of being a king, he asked the ministers if they could show him the island where all the other kings were sent. They agreed and took him to the island. The island was covered with thick jungles and sounds of vicious animals were heard coming out of them. The king went little bit inside to check. Soon he discovered the dead bodies of all the past kings. He understood that as soon as they were left in the island, the animals came and killed them.
The king went back to the country and collected 100 strong workers. He took them to the island and instructed them to clean the jungle, remove all the deadly animals and cut down all the excess trees. He would visit the island every month to see how the work was progressing. In the first month, all the animals were removed and many trees were cut down. In the second month, the whole island was cleaned out. The king then told the workers to plant gardens in various parts of the island. He also took with himself useful animals like chickens, ducks, birds, goats, cows etc. In the third month, he ordered the workers to build big houses and docking stations for ships. Over the months, the island turned into a beautiful place.
The young king would wear simple clothes and spend very little from his earnings as a king. He sent all the earnings to the island for storage. When nine months passed like this, the king called the ministers and told them:
-"I know that I have to go the island after one year, but I would like to go there right now." But the ministers didn't agree to this and said that he has to wait for another 3 months to complete the year.
3 months passed and now it was a full year. The people dressed up the young king and put him on an elephant to take him around the country to say goodbye to others. However, this king is unusually happy to leave the kingdom.
People asked him,:
-"All the other kings would cry at this moment and why are you laughing?"
He replied,:
-"Don't you know what the wise people say? They say that when you came to this world as a baby, you were crying and everyone was smiling. Live such a life that when you are die, you will be smiling and everyone around you will be crying. I have lived that life. While all the other kings were lost into the luxuries of the kingdom, I always thought about the future and planned for it. I turned the deadly island into a beautiful abode for me where I can stay peacefully."

.Author:Unknown

Smart one!
kk

 Hahaha, blank, blank, blank...Too much cheese  ? Oh! Arrived here, my blog-town, with an idea for a post, and now i forgot it    . LOL, it must happens to others too, no? Well, because is happening to me 
Really forgot it, will remember... tomorrow maybe!
Now:  BlogTime
 

OK, is too much late or .... too much early  ???!!!! Back to sleep  after eat cheeses, marmelade, and chocolate cookies with a glass of "Sangria" .
Yum Yum; now, is really a silly hour!!!:  .
kk

.An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he decided something different. He called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said:
-"It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you."
The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued.:
-"I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here after one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor!"
One boy named Ling was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the story. She helped him get a pot and planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.
Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks went by. Still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants but Ling didn't have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed.
Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn't say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But honest about what happened, Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right. He took his empty pot to the palace. When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said:
-"Hey nice try."
When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back.
-"What great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the emperor. "Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!" All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front.
Ling was terrified. "The emperor knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!"
When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name.
-"My name is Ling," he replied.
All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd:
-"Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!"
Ling couldn't believe it. Ling couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor? Then the emperor said:
-"One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds, which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!"

.Author: Unknown

kk

Just to have some Fun while , so, what is painted here? Lines? Books? Etc.???  There's no title, i can guess only!!! And you?
kk

.A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students,:
-'How much do you think this glass weighs?'
-'50 gms!'.... '100 gms!'...... '125 gms' ...... the students answered.
-'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'
-'Nothing' the students said.
-'Ok! What would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
-'Your arm would begin to ache', said one of the students.
-'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'
-'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress and paralysis and have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student; and all the students laughed.
-'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked the professor.
-'No'
-'Then what caused the arm ache and the muscle stress?' The students were puzzled.
-'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.
-'Exactly!' said the professor. 'Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem okay. Think of them for a long time and they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything'.

.Author: unknown

kk

Bah! Meteorology = Hilarious and Ridicolous! Yes, that's what it is! How can they alarm and let everybody anxious about a Hurricane on our way and then call it an: Extra-tropical storm, as they called it last night ( "Extra" , i wonder why they added this word, Extra,)say it would last till Sunday when it was only this night and a typical Winter storm only??
Yes!!! Only rained, plus some strong winds and cooler temperature, till 9h.30m am and now you know what???
Lisbon is with a bright, warm, sunny day!
How can it be with such developments and science advances??? They keep doing such stupid false alarms???!!!
Hmm, let's enjoy the day, sunny day instead off a Gordon day
xxx
kk

Now the Gordon Hurricane turned an Extra-Tropical Storm, and is starting 2hit Lisbon till up North, so i'm not sleeping at all!Im  but my eyes are. If i go to bed, i start    and . So, no way to sleep this night will watch the Extra-tropicalstorm hit all this for sure!! And i just want  but no way!
kk

OH! Everyone already had lunch!I'm hungry,because i was having Fun  and working by pc at same time, so i cooked my steak in last place...the result: i burned it ! Now i'm cooking a Lasanha because i'm really HUNGRY
After it, seems i'm needing a strong coffee
kk